After giving it some thought, I pinpointed the moment when she emerged. Ironically, it had nothing to do with my own illness. In the summer of 2008, my mother pretty much moved from Wilmington, De., to Brooklyn to take care of me. For the entire time she stayed with me, she cooked three meals a day, did all of my laundry, and cleaned my apartment. When I had to go back to the emergency room due to complications, Lorraine was there with me. When I felt nauseous after chemo, she forced me to go outside. “Push yourself,” she would say. On every step of my journey, she walked right next to me.
And to celebrate my last chemo session at the end of October, she offered to cook me a fabulous dinner in her newly remodeled kitchen, which had gotten put on hold until I got better. But the day after my last chemo, my mom was admitted to the Intensive Care Unit at a hospital in Wilmington. What was supposed to have been exploratory surgery turned out to be much more. Her heart and lungs were suffering, and I thought I might lose her. Every day, my sister and I were at that hospital, annoying the nursing staff with our constant questions and concerns (well, really my sister) and trying to figure out the best care for my mom.
One night after Toni left the ICU, I sat in the chair by my mom’s bedside like she had done for me so many times before. Just the two of us. I told her over and over that she was going to be fine. She may have been unconscious, but I knew she could hear me. And that’s the moment it happened. The moment the new me took command.
Miraculously, my mom recovered. It was a slow process, though. Every day, she made a bit more progress, and every day I pushed her. And when she was transferred to a rehabilitation center to learn how to walk again, guess who was right next to her every step of the way?
After a two-month ordeal, mom returned home to a dope new kitchen, and to celebrate, I made dinner for her. Lamb chops. I had never felt stronger. It seems taking care of her had shocked the new me into existence. And just in time, too. I had channeled my inner Lynda Carter when I needed her most, and I don’t think she’s leaving.
Wow what a tribute to you and your Mom Chana. Once again you never cease to amaze me with your inner strength and beauty. I am so happy that you have discovered the new you but I saw it bubbling on your surface all along!
That’s awesome, Chana. It takes a lot of strength to go through what you did and a lot of courage to share it with others. It’s very inspiring. Keep writing and I’ll keep reading
Chana, I don’t know you very well but through mutual associations. As I read your blog it’s obvious you are just as beautiful on the inside as you are on the out. It seems that no matter what twists and turns life brings, you are ready to meet the challenge and come out stronger. Your story is inspiring! Thank you for sharing.
This commentary is so beautiful. I want to cry but I can’t I am at work. But know I am crying on the inside. I am so proud of you.
Your sister.
I’m tearing up Chana. This is beautiful. Moms are the best. We’ve also had a lot of health trouble in my family in the past few years and it is so wonderful to have someone to lean on. The women in your family are amazing and inspiring. Thanks so much for sharing it with me (and the world!)
Nat H.
A friend of mine who’d beat cancer twice told me once, “If you get cancer, you’re going to die. Even if you beat it, the old you is going to die and be replaced by the person you had to become in order to beat cancer.”
Chana,
You are amazing for sharing your journey. I understand your mom’s words. Oh she loves you so!. I still said it even though I hnow you know it.
Thanks for sharing. My daughter Natalie shared this website with me. I get the feeling that I’m going to be visiting very often as I work everyday to get some if that incredible moxy that you and your mom have. I do keep feeling that a new person may have to emerge as each new beautiful day comes by. God bless!
Serena H.
Hey, that’s the geretast! So with ll this brain power AWHFY?
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