Gift bags get people excited

“Sisters Slaying Cancer” is officially an annual event. We pulled off another successful fundraiser last week at the Alexander Myles Salon and Spa, and it was bigger and better than before.

I have to give credit to my sister, Toni, who pretty much planned the entire event,  along with Tiffany, whom we hired to pull our day of reduced-priced salon and spa services together in style. I came in on the tail end to supervise and manage, which meant I was in charge of pouring mimosas and passing out cupcakes.

Next year, we need teal nail polish!

The turnout was pretty fabulous. Lots of hair getting styled, nails being painted, and backs getting massaged.  All in all, our day of beauty resulted in $2,000 pot. And like last year, we’re donating all the money to ovarian cancer research and the local leukemia-lymphoma foundation.

Toni and I were inspired to raise awareness about the cancers that have touched our lives because we wanted to do something bigger than ourselves. And once we began planning, it seemed as if the universe conspired with us to make it happen.

Posing pretty.

A dozen or so folks volunteered their time, giving up their Sunday to chip in, and a handful of entrepreneurs, advocacy organizations, and corporate businesses donated items for our gift bags. For the second year, L’Oreal sent along makeup bags from its Color of Hope collection, Mizani provided us with loads of professional-grade hair products, and Sacred Vibes Apothecary donated wellness tea.

Before the day was over, we were already planning for next year. We’re thinking a bigger venue and bigger giveaways. But it wouldn’t mean much without our community of supporters, and that goes for those who were there in body and spirit. See ya next year!

As part of the Stand Up to Cancer initiative, my public service announcement with the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance will be airing all week. I’ll be on somewhere in between Lance Armstrong and Vogue editor-at-large Andre Leon Talley.

What’s more is that the timing couldn’t be better. September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month. And it looks like I’ve got a lot to keep me busy. L’Oreal is hosting several events that I’ll be attending, including an awareness breakfast. Last year, I met and interviewed Kerry Washington. I’m hoping someone equally fabulous shows up this year.

And once again, my sister Toni and I are holding our second annual Sisters Slaying Cancer fundraiser on Sunday, Sept. 26. We’re hosting a spa and salon day at the Alexander Myles Salon & Spa in Wilmington, DE, and donating all of the money to cancer research. Last year’s event was such a success that we had to extend the hours this year just to accommodate everyone. That’s what I’m talking about!

There’s plenty to celebrate this month. My September is filled with eating, spa days, and celebrity interviews — all in the name of fighting cancer. Not bad. Oh, and my national television debut. Holla if you catch me. I’m the one wearing teal.

I jokingly told him to bring me back a baby, but I was serious about mothering a child from Haiti, or any country for that matter — if only folks wouldn’t judge me based on my medical records.

Okay, so it hasn’t happened yet. But more than likely it will.

As part of my quest to adopt a child, I’ll have to answer questions about being a cancer survivor, and rightfully so. But regardless of how well I recover, or even if I battle the beast and win, my medical history is going to be problematic. As one adoptive mother I reached out to wrote me in an e-mail, “The biggest obstacle is your health.”

Yeah. No kidding.

I found out a long time ago that being a cancer survivor would be a huge strike against me when it came time to adopt a kid, and I was a bit irritated by her need to state the obvious. The adoption agencies worry about how long a cancer patient is going to live and whether we’re fit enough to be parents.

And it’s not just ovarian cancer patients; it’s all cancer patients. I heard of a woman with thyroid cancer, which is highly curable, having to wait years before she was allowed to adopt. Granted the five-year survival rate for ovarian cancer patients — about 46 percent — isn’t as encouraging as thyroid cancer or even breast cancer, but when I read that figure, I interpreted it as somebody out there is beating the odds.

A lot of somebodies actually.

The reality is that cancer is becoming a chronic but manageable disease for many. Yet when it comes to adoption, survivors are discriminated against despite that fact that other ailments are more pervasive and equally life-threatening.  More American women, for example, die from heart disease each year? A healthy cancer survivor (no, it’s not an oxymoron) should no more be given a hard time regarding adoption than someone who’s at risk for heart disease or someone who’s overweight.

Furthermore, there are conditions like depression that negatively affect child rearing more than cancer. Take for instance a family friend who battled bipolar disorder all his life. He stopped taking his medicine two years ago and shuttered himself in his apartment until he starved to death. He was healthy in almost every other respect. He just couldn’t triumph over the demons in his head.

I’m not arguing that this is the fate of everyone battling mania and depression, but those with ailments that severely compromise their cognitive abilities aren’t forced to come clean. In many cases, you’d never know.

And that’s exactly why this entire adoption process is dubious. Some folks can mask their issues, while others like me are forced to wear them for the world to see. Or, more accurately, to read.

Doctor’s visits, medical records, chemo treatments — they’re all there to be accessed by whoever will decide whether I should be allowed to adopt. I’m not suggesting that they shouldn’t be, but I wouldn’t be trying to be an adoptive parent if I thought I was physically unable to take care of a kid.

I have no plans to adopt by myself, which might make my situation a bit more palatable. But my sweetie and I haven’t even started the process and already people are talking to me about the difficulties ahead. That’s no reason to quit, though. In fact, it will just spur this cancer slayer on.