Gift bags get people excited

“Sisters Slaying Cancer” is officially an annual event. We pulled off another successful fundraiser last week at the Alexander Myles Salon and Spa, and it was bigger and better than before.

I have to give credit to my sister, Toni, who pretty much planned the entire event,  along with Tiffany, whom we hired to pull our day of reduced-priced salon and spa services together in style. I came in on the tail end to supervise and manage, which meant I was in charge of pouring mimosas and passing out cupcakes.

Next year, we need teal nail polish!

The turnout was pretty fabulous. Lots of hair getting styled, nails being painted, and backs getting massaged.  All in all, our day of beauty resulted in $2,000 pot. And like last year, we’re donating all the money to ovarian cancer research and the local leukemia-lymphoma foundation.

Toni and I were inspired to raise awareness about the cancers that have touched our lives because we wanted to do something bigger than ourselves. And once we began planning, it seemed as if the universe conspired with us to make it happen.

Posing pretty.

A dozen or so folks volunteered their time, giving up their Sunday to chip in, and a handful of entrepreneurs, advocacy organizations, and corporate businesses donated items for our gift bags. For the second year, L’Oreal sent along makeup bags from its Color of Hope collection, Mizani provided us with loads of professional-grade hair products, and Sacred Vibes Apothecary donated wellness tea.

Before the day was over, we were already planning for next year. We’re thinking a bigger venue and bigger giveaways. But it wouldn’t mean much without our community of supporters, and that goes for those who were there in body and spirit. See ya next year!

As part of the Stand Up to Cancer initiative, my public service announcement with the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance will be airing all week. I’ll be on somewhere in between Lance Armstrong and Vogue editor-at-large Andre Leon Talley.

What’s more is that the timing couldn’t be better. September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month. And it looks like I’ve got a lot to keep me busy. L’Oreal is hosting several events that I’ll be attending, including an awareness breakfast. Last year, I met and interviewed Kerry Washington. I’m hoping someone equally fabulous shows up this year.

And once again, my sister Toni and I are holding our second annual Sisters Slaying Cancer fundraiser on Sunday, Sept. 26. We’re hosting a spa and salon day at the Alexander Myles Salon & Spa in Wilmington, DE, and donating all of the money to cancer research. Last year’s event was such a success that we had to extend the hours this year just to accommodate everyone. That’s what I’m talking about!

There’s plenty to celebrate this month. My September is filled with eating, spa days, and celebrity interviews — all in the name of fighting cancer. Not bad. Oh, and my national television debut. Holla if you catch me. I’m the one wearing teal.

Fighter, warrior, survivor ― all inadequate, says author Dana Jennings. Cancer just is, and that’s pretty much all there is to it.

Point taken.

Actually, the piece makes a lot of sense. Some people just end up with life-threatening illnesses, serious ailments, bunions, etc., and others don’t. According to Jennings, life happens, you roll with the punches, and you don’t get to bestow special titles on yourself just because you’re diagnosed with cancer.

It’s a fresh perspective, I’ll say that much. After a lifetime of thinking of cancer patients as the ultimate troupers, Jennings’ take is a bit disarming. And although his column is definitely worth reading, I found myself disagreeing almost from the start.

Jennings isn't really feeling any of the above

Words, while often unable to completely define who we are, are indeed powerful, especially when it comes to self-identity. Referring to yourself as black, a woman, an American not only affects how you see the world but also how you see yourself.

And as a journalist, words are doubly important to me. When strung together, they can become a best seller, spark a protest, or make someone laugh. Even on their own, they can command attention. Consider, for example, the always offensive nigger, fag, or bitch. Or on the other end of the spectrum, the beauty of words like luscious, passionate, or luxurious.

Even the most banal words can become something more when we assign new or expanded meaning to them, and this is what happens with cancer. For many of us with the disease, the term survivor is more than just a catchphrase; it’s a call to action, a way to establish some sense of power in a situation where losing control mentally can happen very quickly.  For Jennings, however, it’s simply another one of cancer’s clichés:

“I sometimes think of cancer as a long and difficult journey, a quest out of Tolkien, or a dark waltz — but never a battle,” he writes. “How can it be a battle when we patients are the actual battleground?”

Maybe I’m missing the point here, but I would absolutely describe my experience with cancer as a battle. And, yes, my body is the front line, ground zero if you will, but my brain is constantly churning out orders for it to follow. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t warn myself not to get pulled in too deeply by cancer’s undertow. I remind myself pretty regularly that I can triumph over this disease, that I can fight the beast and live to tell about it.

What Jennings fails to acknowledge is that there is a reason why talking about life-altering illnesses evokes images of confrontation and struggle. Cancer strips us bare, and always the main goal, the only goal really, is to fight to stay alive. There aren’t many other analogies that can suffice.

The bottom line is that chronic diseases of all kinds breed toughness, and, as a result, a language has developed around them that is in no way trite or threadbare.

I call myself a survivor, a warrior, or better yet a slayer because when I do, those words make me feel strong — never inadequate.